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Ringing in the Ears

I haven't written much is while, guess I just don't want people to know what's really going on, that I'm slowing losing my mind. One thing that's been going on for a few months is this ringing in my ears. More in my left then my right though the right decides to chime in or should I say ring in now and then just to keep me on my toes. The buzzing was getting bad at work after they banned all on-line radio stations, Pandora I miss you. I broke down and bought an ipod nano that streams constant music while I'm working so I don't go completely mad. At night it's really hard to go to sleep because of the constant noise which seems especially loud. What you can't hear it too?

I went to a specialist (ears nose and throat guy) to have my ears checked out and my hearing tested, he told me I had the healthiest looking ears he had seen in weeks. The hearing test was very comprehensive. They even put me in one of those rooms that close out all noise except what they hope you can hear. I've never been in one of those for a hearing test before. I remember hearing tests in school where you sit in an office or class room with head phones on and they ask you to raise your hand if you can hear something. So this little room they put me in and I mean little closet, thank god for the window otherwise my claustrophobia would have kicked into high gear. As it was it was only a low level panic of oh my god this room is small how long do I have to sit in here. The test came back with good hearing except on the high tones in my left ear. Well damn I could have told them that I can't hear much over that ringing.

The ENT guy told me I have Tinnitus and there's not much you can do about it but learn to live with it. From the sounds of it he's lived with his most his life. Oh great thanks. Normally it's brought on by a very loud noise that hurts your ears, the Tinnitus often goes away over time, mine has not gone away its been going strong for a good 2 months or more, I've kind of lost count or don't want to keep count. Only problem is I haven't had any loud noise incidents recently I haven't even been to a concert in a while. I mean Dahlia can scream pretty loud but don't think she can do actual damage. The other possibility is stress. Oh well um yeah that seems to be my problem. Too much stress! Can it stop now already?

the ride is over

Well the roller coaster ride has finished now to pick up the pieces. Things were getting a bit hectic last week, changing every hour so I didn't do any updates on where I was going or not going with my job since it was just going to change. The final fall out was the position my boss had created for me was approved and I qualified by the chin or my chinny chin chin. I don't have a masters degree so we had to write up a very elaborate resume that showed I had qualifying experience. The final outcome was I had to give up reinstatement rights as an Administrative Assistant II. See there was this other job that came up last week that I could have transferred to but I didn't want to if I was able to qualify for the new job. But when you are laid off and they call you and say we have a job. If you say no, that's it your off the reinstatement list. I and hoped that if the new job didn't work out I would be able to go back to being an Admin II. No such luck and on top of that I am now in a position that is exempt. This is good and bad. The good is I can't be bumped, the bad is it's an at will position so if my boss decided to cut it for budget reasons I'm out with no job I could bounce to.

During all this I was training my replacement from the Port. She is actually a nice lady and I don't hold anything against her for everything that happened. She's pretty happy I'm still around so she can ask me questions as things come up.

On Monday September 21st I started my new position as Management Intern. Yeah Intern is an odd title but the City does not see it as a temporary position. It's seen as a management training position. Oh God you know what this means don't you? I'm being trained to go into management. My new direct supervisor is great. She's all about making a path to where I want to be in 5 years and making sure I get everything I need to get there. It's a bit scary to say the least and I kind of feel I have been throw in the deep end with the sharks. It's sink or swim time.

Good News

I'm not going to lose my job. Why, oh why, do Unions and City politics have to make it so difficult and put you on this roller coaster that if your on the bottom of the list there is a chance you will get bumped/laid off. Which I'm not after all. Thank you. I know my boss was pulling every string she could. She didn't want to lose me. She is a bit of a strong personality, I like her a lot but I know people who don't want work for her. So for now I have a job to come back too. I'm taking a week vacation to go camp in the great out doors. Dahlia's first camping trip. Wish us luck.

She is all ready she has her water bottle and everything.

The Layoff Rollercoaster

I'm on it again. It's a bit stressful and not at all fun like a roller coaster should be. Things are made even a bit worse that M got laid off June 1st. He was hit by a Mack truck while we were watching my possible layoff train in the distance. It was a bit unexpected but in this economy there is not much you can expect except more layoffs it seems. So tomorrow night is a big budget meeting with City Council, lets not even discuss what the governator is not doing to the States budget that will affect the City's budget and the City will have to do another budget mid year. After the 3pm meeting tomorrow and I have no idea how late it will go they are going to start sending out the layoff letters Wednesday.

M and I leave for our camping trip to Yosemite on Sunday so I should know if I have a job to come back to or not. If I get a letter my last day will be July 3rd. So basically I'll be off a week of vacation and come back and have a week to clean up my desk and get everything ready for someone to come in and take over. It's a bit depressing. I'm looking at the side that I will be laid off and I will get a letter that way if I do I'm not shell shocked and if I don't I'll have a happy day.

The cupcake fiasco

I had a notion for Dahlia's Birthday I would make healthy but good cupcakes for her party. I have this idea I have to make organic, home made meals for Dahlia when ever possible and stay away from store bought and boxed stuff. I'm constantly failing in so many ways to live up to these ideals and many others it's not even funny. I was given a cook book called deceptively delicious by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife) http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com/site/

I thought I'd try and make the yellow cake recipe that called for pumpkin puree and yogurt instead of oil or butter. I followed the recipe as best I could but I substituted a few things and this may be where things went wrong. It called for a standard yellow cake mix from the store but with how much crap and dye is in those things I bought a cake mix from Trader Joes that was a more natural version without the coloring. I mixed up the recipe and baked up the cupcakes. They looked like normal cupcakes coming out of the oven but as soon and they sat on the counter to cool they collapsed in on themselves. They went from a 3 inch high cupcake to a squashed, chewy, dense less then an inch high hockey puck. They were still some what edible. You can ask Martin he ate most of them to get rid of the evidence of my failure.

So now it's the night before her party and I don't have any cupcakes. In a panic I pulled out the yellow cake mix (Dunkin Hines) with its yellow #5 and who knows what else and mixed it up. Of course I'm short on cup cake foils since I used them all on the last batch so I had to scrounge around for others that I could use. So none of them matched and they barely fit in the muffin tins I had. I made the cupcakes and they at least looked like cupcakes when I was done.

I waited till Saturday morning to frost them. I mixed up a cream cheese frosting cutting out 3/4 of the sugar they tell you to put in. Oh my god. The Betty Crocker cookbook cream cheese frosting called for 4 cups of powdered sugar. You have got to be kidding me. So I put in ½ a cup at first, made M taste it, and then added a little more only using a cup of sugar total. I also did not use butter but a little ½ an ½ instead.


OOh #5

I really hope we get to go. We have a site reserved and I really should start getting some of the equipment we are going to need just in case.

All together now (from SF Chronicle May 1, 2009)

Top family-camp destinations:

1. Historic Camp Richardson Resort, South Lake Tahoe

2. Lake Siskiyou Camp-Resort, Mount Shasta

3. Convict Lake Resort, Eastern Sierra

4. MacKerricher State Park, Mendocino

5. North Pines, Yosemite National Park

6. Lake Oroville boat-in floating camps

7. Lake Alpine, Stanislaus National Forest

8. Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park

9. Dorst Creek, Sequoia National Park

10. Tuolumne Meadows, Yosemite

Source: "California Camping," by Tom Stienstra


I don't talk to my sister (Tamara) much, she's busy, has 5 kids and is not very connected to technology, lives in San Diego, need I go on. Since having my own baby she has reached out a bit more. I think because now that I have a little one we have something in common. Also her youngest is only 3 months older then Dahlia. I wanted to share this. T sent this to me today on my cell phone. It makes me smile I may not talk to her much but it's nice when she sends a pic on the phone.

She calls this Baby Yoga. ahhhh


This is Earth Month and I for one have been doing what I can, I’m not so up on it that I know what my carbon foot print is but I’m still trying to do what I can to reduce the one I have. I try in my everyday choices to not put more in landfills and I recycle everything possible. Dahlia is in cloth diapers except when we go out of town. M has a worm box and I save all food scrapes (non meat) for him to feed his worms. I try and buy recycled, natural and organic when I can. M and I have a few things we do around the house to save water and electricity. This weekend we volunteered at the Oakland Rose Garden pulling weeds and planting trees and it felt good to be out doing things in the community. I have always wanted to volunteer more but life gets in the way and I don’t actually do as much as I think I should. Now what I’m a mom I have this idea that I need to be a good roll model for Dahlia and do all those things I always meant to do but never found the time.

Here is a picture of Dahlia helping as well

Does "Hi" count as a first word?


Yes that's what she said Hi! While waving at every single person she saw. It started when I was leaving the house last night about 6:30pm to go pick up dinner for a friend indrigirl as a thank you for watching our cat Salome and a chance to socialize with her since I don’t get to see her enough. Dahlia had just woken up from her nape caused by food coma. M wonders if I have some narcotic drug in my breast milk. Seems every time Dahlia nurses she falls asleep. Anyway I put Dahlia in my Ergo carrier and grabbed the stuff one needs to carry along for baby, diaper bag, blanket, etc. and headed down to grab the stroller out of the jeep. I was going to walk down Piedmont Ave while I can carry D easy in the Ergo with all the other stuff it’s easier to take the stroller. A jogger was approaching us on the sidewalk. D raised her hand waved it and said "Hi". The jogger I think gave a slight smile but mostly just kept on jogging. I was floored. While D has been starting to wave mostly it's been after someone leaves or hours later like an after thought.

Does "Hi" count as a first word? I called my mom to check. As I was on the cell phone with my mom and pushing D down the street we crossed paths with the neighbor and D raised her hand and said "Hi". That's twice! As we rounded the corner and were going down Pleasant Valley two young girls (less then 20 I'd guess) were walking up the hill on the sidewalk and D raised both hands and said "Hi". Wow Okay that's three times and the last one was a double hander. We crossed at the signal of Piedmont and Pleasant Valley and there was a person waiting with their dog to go down Piedmont. D raised her hand again but this time the sound she made was more of a grunt and it was directed at the dog. Maybe that's how you say Hi in dog I'm not sure.

This was pretty much the end of her raised hand and Hi. She was sitting forward in the stroller with both hands clasping the sides as we went down the street. There was a lot more activity. People and stuff going on so I'd say she was distracted. At Baja were I grabbed the burritos for dinner the lady at the counter smiled and waved and D just stared at her. It seems the people who try and initiate a smile and a wave she doesn’t respond but total strangers not paying attention to her at all she was all about waving Hi too. I just don't get it but I'm excited and mystified by Dahlia often.